The Kite Runner

Dirt under my fingernails.
Sand scouring my palms.
Sour breath on my neck.
Women’s voices behind the walls.
Mocking laughter grating on shredded nerves.
Sudden night, oppressively black,
Blinding me, heightening all else.
Your voice a lullaby…
Please, never know this…
Tucking me into bed,
Burying this pain.
Rough hands pulling me up, pulling out.
Tears on my face, washing away the night.
Clothes strange against my skin,
Blood seeping through them…
It won’t wash off, it won’t.
You, outside, inevitable as death.
Hold me. Nay, don’t.
Naught the same, naught unchanged.
Not you, nor I, nor us.
Forgive me.

Troy

A murderer’s hands, touching,
Feather-light, another’s tattered flesh;
Love’s soft whispers
Drowning in the din of slaughter;
Bloodstained kisses bitten
From snarling lips;
Unwilling creatures in our beds,
Pain fuelling lust;
Blood of children on our hands,
Gold lining your purse.
Erastes, eromenos, philos,
What have we come to?
Butchers, puppets, toys
Of malevolent gods and malicious kings.
Erastes, eromenos, philos,
What have we become?

Obsession

Can you never let go?
Of love, of memories,
Of a bitter parting?

Can you never let go?
Must your very being
Pervade every action of mine?

Can you never let go?
Why always whisper in my ears
That no-one shall ever be you?

Can you never let go?
Will you remind me every day
What treasure I have lost?

Can you never let go?
My tears are a never-ending stream,
Does that bring you joy?

Can you never let go?
You lurk in every shadowy corner,
Do you not long for light?

Can you never let go?
Need you always, always knock
And disappear before I open the door?

’Tis been ages, Cathy,
Your grave is but a mossy mound.
Let go. Never let go.